Financial Insecurity ... and Security

There was a very interesting article: AARP exposes shady retirement seminars
When it comes to these workshops, there is no such thing as a 'free lunch' on the MSNBC website this morning. Everyone should definitely read this!
My siblings and I are just as worried about my Dad's investments and my parents' financial security as I'm sure most people are these days; however, as the article points out ... be careful before putting all the money in an annuity or a trust. I had actually thought about this route, until I really started thinking about all the unexpected (and expected) expenses that arise every month ... how would we be able to pay those bills if we were only receiving a fixed amount? Who cares that it would pay out for 5-10 years! If you need it today, you need it today! To think that my parents' would have had the money to cover expenses, but we wouldn't be able to access it, would have been catastrophic!
Every month hospital bills, clothing expenses, sundry shopping trips, meals out, pharmacy bills, etc., come in ... not to mention the upkeep and possible future expenses to be incurred with their house before it sells ... what a disaster this all could have been!
I'm still optimistic that the stock market will turn around, so I even hate the thought of liquidating any of it at this point, though I know we have to do something to cover expenses. Assisted Living is costly, but still is much more feasible than the cost of 24-hour, 7-day a week care at home.
As I discover any helpful information on this topic, I'll share it here. If anyone reads this has some thoughts, I'd love to hear them!

Try Music Therapy!

I have been doing a lot of research on the internet regarding non-drug therapies for improving memory and exercising the brain. There's been some intriguing studies performed using Music Therapy.
I'd like to share some of the fascinating websites I've found:
Education update: Music Therapy for People with Alzheimer’s or Parkinson’s Disease

The Institute for Music and Neurologic Function

A caregiver article referencing Music Therapy success

These are just a few. I went to another website, called Eldersong, and found a wealth of great music, along with song books with all the lyrics. To test one out, I purchased the Volume 2 and brought it over to my parents. My Dad started singing immediately! This is a major event! My Dad, who used to sing all the time, hasn't sung in years! He and my Mom both were sitting there singing all the old songs they used to sing to me when I was a child ... like "I'll Be With You in Apple Blossom Time" and "I'm Forever Blowing Bubbles," and so many more. They were having a great time!
Now, we just need to find a senior-friendly cd player! My quest continues ... more later!

Think BIG! Senior-Friendly Calendar and Clock!

The calendar highlights activities, with the times they are offered. The purple arrows flag appointments.

This clock is just wonderful! The day and date flip at midnight.

Finally, I have something worth writing about! I know it's been a long time, but when I started this blog, my intention was to focus on products and services that were beneficial to helping your elderly parents (or siblings or friends!) ... not to ramble on about the everyday toils and troubles and anxieties we all feel. We all feel them, let's face it! So, on a positive note, I finally have some products (and projects!) that are, in my opinion, well worth mentioning.

Without going into a lot of details, let me just say that my parents, due to injury, finally moved into an assisted-living residence about two months ago. This has been quite an adjustment ... more of an ongoing adjustment, I'd say. I've been trying everything I can think of to make the transition easier and to try to make sure they are able to take advantage of all the activities and services provided there.

The residence provides a monthly calendar with all the activities listed for every day; however, my parents never seemed to attend anything ... partly because they didn't really even know where to look to figure out what they might want to do and where/when it was offered.

When I met with a senior advocate a couple of weeks ago, she encouraged me to take the monthly calendar and make it REALLY BIG. Highlight the activities that might be important (like appointments) and also all the activities that might be of interest to my parents. She also encouraged me to hang this in a prominent place in the room, visible from the doorway, so that when members of the staff came in, they, too, could glance up at the calendar and remind my parents that the "Bridge Club" was meeting soon or that "Bingo" was just about to start, etc. With that idea, I went to a teacher's store and bought a big, cardboard write on/wipe off calendar. I decided against using the write on/wipe off calendar as THE calendar, though, because after I had filled in the activities for the month, I brushed against it and "poof," half of it disappeared with a mere swipe of my arm! Forget it! If the activites could be that easily erased, it was never going to last a month.

I definitely wanted something more permanent. So I headed over to Office Depot and found those big pieces of paper that come in a tablet on a cardboard easel. The paper, with a little trimming, would work perfectly. SO, I took the teacher's-store calendar and used it as a template to make my own calendar. I don't have a light table big enough for tracing such a huge item, so I used some masking tape and taped the teacher's-store calendar to the window, then I taped my big piece of paper over it. Using the light that came from behind, I was able to see the calendar perfectly and with permanent markers and a ruler, I traced the grid for the calendar.

After I finished the grid, I put my piece on the floor and finished drawing in all the days of the week. Using the monthly calendar from the residence, I wrote in all the things that might interest my parents and the scheduled times. I used different colored markers for each activity and tried to keep that the same throughout: Pale blue for exercises, bright green for bingo, purple for appointments, red for Mass, etc.

I took the calendar and posted it on a bulletin board, along with a list of all the phone numbers that my parents might need (or want!) so they don't have to plow through their old address books every day. (I tacked up a couple of photos, too, just because I had the space on the bulletin board, but you wouldn't have to do that!)

I hung the whole thing in the center of the living-room wall. THEN, I found a fantastic clock that features the day/time. You can find this clock at the Alzheimer's Store. They also have a wall clock that has the same features. The wall clock costs more and I didn't think it would be quite as useful as the desk clock for our purpose. Both clocks are pretty expensive, in my opinion, but I really do think it's been a great help.

Home Helper FOUND

The two agencies we tried to have come in and help my parents really did not meet our requirements. What we really needed was a person who wanted to establish a relationship with my parents, but also who wanted to keep their house clean. Very clean. This was the bottom line. Both agencies we tried sent friendly people, but they really wanted to be more of a house sitter ... or ... I'm not sure what!
In any event, we finally found a local person who goes above and beyond what our expectations were. He's fantastic! His work ethic is incredible. He doesn't ask for pay by the hour, but by the day. He stays until every room is absolutely incredible looking. He brings his own equipment. He's, in a word, WONDERFUL.
I really am confused as to what the agencies think elderly people need. Obviously, if a person is even slightly handicapped due to arthritis, simple tasks become difficult ... washing and folding clothes, doing the dishes, vacuuming, scrubbing, etc. I think the agencies are really missing a very important niche ... cleaning for the elderly!

Finding Home Helpers for the Elderly

I know, I know. I haven't written in a long time! That's because it's been an interesting experience for me ... trying to keep this blog and make it pertinent ... useful ... I have actually deleted a few posts that were, perhaps, a little too personal. I really didn't intend to make this blog be about the trials and tribulations one encounters when helping to care for their elderly parents. No, instead, I had hoped to provide resources and information to help us all along the way. I think I kind of got side-tracked a little.
So, here I am, back in full force and hoping that the links for suggested products and services might help somebody else!
The past month has been particularly taxing while we try to locate just the right cleaning service for my parents. We didn't want the type of service that comes in and turns your house upside-down, rolling up carpets, dusting ceiling fans, etc. We wanted the kind of service that Alice from the Brady Bunch gave every day ... we would have been quite satisfied with Hazel. In short, we wanted a domestic person who could keep the house tidy and do the chores that are too exhausting for my parents at this point.
Do you know how difficult it is to find this? To find someone willing to do the dishes, the laundry and vacuum and mop floors? Sigh.
We've finally settled on another agency. Let me say; however, that the agency is only as good as its employees. And, so far, we've been very happy with the person who has been sent to my parents' home. Another agency we tried did not work out at all ... I think the agency might have downplayed the cleaning aspect of the job to the potential employee ... and, as we all know, that was the only reason we wanted someone! We didn't need a companion (my parents are perfect companions for each other); we didn't need a "sitter." We just needed someone to load and unload the dishes and change the linens on the bed! You wouldn't think that would be so hard to find, would you?
I'll keep you posted.

New York Strip and Oncovite!

We ordered the Oncovite vitamins for my Dad. I wish I had done so sooner, but we can only go forward from here. Again, I'm so amazed at Dr. Lamm's generosity of time in answering yet another letter from me! I really hope the vitamins help.
Meanwhile, my husband went grocery shopping this morning and bought my Dad a nice, big, fat, juicy New York Strip steak!!! He loves steak, but my Mom does not, so my husband thought: Why not get a steak for your Dad and your Mom can have something else? DUH! Why hadn't we thought of this before?
He's been very weak and tired and just lacking appetite. I surely hope the steak (and a lemon-meringue pie for dessert) will cheer him up!
I feel so helpless at making them happy. I wish they lived with us, instead of three miles away ... but they were quite adamant about wanting their own house when they moved here two years ago. Who knew these two years would be so full of changes in their health.
Yes, I need to take a breath. One day at a time. Today will be a good day, please God.

Crock-Pot Meals Revisited

A couple of years ago, when my three children were younger, I found the crock pot to be a real lifesaver. I certainly had more energy to chop vegetables, brown meat, etc. in the morning than I did at 4 o'clock in the afternoon. Having that warm, wonderful smell of food cooking filling up the house made me feel like I had someone in the kitchen cooking for me. It was a really great feeling.
Unfortunately for me, the kids really hated every meal I ever prepared (well, that's not entirely true. They did like the enchiladas and spaghetti and meatballs). They didn't like stews or roasts or anything else I could come up with. I even joined a wonderful e-list online: slowcooker@yahoogroups.com . Everybody had new and interesting dishes to prepare. They were tried and true!
Well, to make a long story short, my parents LOVE crock-pot meals! This has really been a blessing.
You see, they don't eat properly. Sometimes they just seem too tired to think about fixing anything. Even the thought of meal preparation sends them both back to bed. SO, for the past few nights, I've been throwing something into the crock pot in the morning and then bringing it to them for dinner. It's been working wonderfully!
They definitely are of the "comfort food" generation!
Here are a couple of really easy recipes that are no fail.
Chicken with Cream Sauce over Rice
2 frozen, boneless, skinless chicken breasts (still frozen)
1 can cream soup (for example, cream of chicken or cream of mushroom or cream of anything!)
That's it! Don't add anything else. No water, no nothing. Just put the lid on; set the cooker to low and walk away! The chicken will be very tender and easy to eat (especially good for the elderly with chewing difficulties) by about 5 or 6 p.m., if you've put it on by 10 a.m. Cook rice to serve along with this. I usually spoon the creamy sauce over the rice and place a piece of chicken on top. You could serve vegetables or a salad and that's all you need.

Here's another good one I got from the Slowcooker list.
Cola Roast
Potatoes (the red kind do very well)
Onion, if you like
Carrots
1 small roast (like London Broil, Flank Steak, Chuck Roast, Round Roast, etc)
1 packet of either Lipton Onion Soup mix (dry) or 1 packet of brown gravy mix (dry)
1 12-ounce can of Coca-Cola. That's right. A whole can of Coke. NOT diet!!! Must be regular.

Peel several potatoes (depending on how many people like to eat. I usually peel two a piece) and wash them and place them (whole)on the bottom of the crock pot. Throw in some carrots. My parents especially like the little baby carrots. They come pre-cleaned in a bag in the produce section. I put in quite a few of these on the bottom. Slice the onion in wedges and throw it in. You can add whatever vegetables you and your parents enjoy. Put the roast on top of the vegetables. Sprinkle the gravy packet over top. Pour on one can of regular Coca-Cola. Put the lid on. Turn the pot on low and again, walk away! Before serving, add dissolve two tablespoons of corn starch in a tiny bit of water, then add this to the gravy in the pot. It will thicken in a minute or two. Then serve!

These are just two of many, many simple and easy-to-eat meals that can be prepared. If you're watching sodium, use the low-sodium soups, gravies, etc. You can tailor anything you make to suit your parents' tastes.

It makes me feel so good to see them eat something! My Dad has lost a lot of weight and doesn't seem to take any initiative when it comes to meal preparation. If I put it in front of him; however, he eats!